Why Women Crave Acceptance

Is it true that every woman craves acceptance?

What are we really seeking, anyway?

A pat on the back?

A thumbs up?

An invitation?

We see posts on social media for events we weren’t invited to, and we automatically feel rejected. Or, we don’t get the acknowledgment we think we deserve and we feel undervalued. But sisters, when does striving for acceptance begin to overshadow Jesus’ acceptance of us?

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

(Galatians 1:10 ESV)

Whatever we believe acceptance to mean, it sure can be exhausting trying to gain it. But what happens when we let our acceptance in Christ be enough? What does that look like in everyday life?

My sisters, it looks like peace, joy, and rest.

• Peace in knowing that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
• Joy in knowing that God is our strength.
• Rest in the yoke of Jesus, which easy and light.

When we truly allow God to be enough, we release the turmoil of trying harder. We usher in joy. And, we find true rest.

In a previous post, I shared about my struggle to connect at our new church. I wanted our family to be drawn in with open arms, find fellowship, and be accepted.

Through that difficult period, the words that kept washing over me from the Holy Spirit were,

“Daughter, let Me be enough.”

Until we are secure in who God created us to be, we will always put on our best performance, in hopes that man will notice. We will always feel like we are lacking in comparison to someone else. 

So, what does the Lord think about our need for acceptance?

The Bible tells a beautiful story of one Samaritan woman who simply wanted to draw water from a well. In that day, Samaritans were considered a “mixed breed,” and avoided by Jews at all cost. However, Jesus asked the woman for a drink. Her response was honest and forthright.

“How is it that You, being a Jew, ask a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?” (John 4:9)

Jesus’ answer was a beautiful testimony of the true meaning of acceptance.

“If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.” John 4:10

Our precious Savior, the priceless gift of God, offered acceptance by dismissing the world’s lines of prejudice. He did away with the outward way of looking at things. Instead, He zeroed in on the heart…the true measure of mankind. No matter what her insecurities were that day, she witnessed the Messiah extending an invitation.

Is that what we desperately want, ladies? An invitation?

• If only we were invited to participate…
• If only we were included in the group…
• If only we were needed to play a part…
• If only we were accepted into the fold…

Yet, all of those things have already been fulfilled in us. Truly, they have.

Be silent in the presence of the Lord God; for the day of the Lord is at hand, for the Lord has prepared a sacrifice; He has invited His guests. (Zephaniah 1:7)

And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit…(Ephesians 1:13)

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. (Romans 15:7)

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41-42)

Every heartbreak of longing that comes from being uninvited, unincluded, and unaccepted, is fulfilled in Jesus.

Even the Samaritan woman, who had 5 previous husbands and was still searching for love in the man she was with, found acceptance by the Messiah who reached through her mess and drew her to Himself.

A woman who is secure in Christ displays certain characteristics:

• She lives out the calling of God on her life, even when no one else understands.
• She moves forward in the will of God, even when she feels alone.
• She is secure, even when others make her feel insecure.
• She knows she is accepted even when others have rejected her.
• She is content to wait on God and not run after the approval of man.
• There is so much more to the story of the Samaritan woman. When you have a minute, hop over to John 4 and read the rest. Her story, perhaps like your own, is full of questions, longing, and hope.

What about YOUR story?

Are you standing at the well of life, wondering if this is all there is? Look up, dear one. Jesus is near. But this time, He isn’t asking for a drink. He is offering you a drink of Living Water. Just as you are, He is inviting you into His presence.

The classic song, Come Just As You Are, sung beautifully by Crystal Lewis, is an invitation for you today.  It reminds us that we never have to thirst again. We don’t have to crave acceptance any longer. Do you believe that today?

What are your thoughts on acceptance?

Would you be willing to share them with the rest of us?

I would love for you to reply to this email and let me know how you deal with feelings of insecurity and rejection. And, if the Lord leads, I would love to get your permission to share your thoughts on the blog. Don’t worry–I won’t share anything you would like to keep confidential. But if you have a few minutes, please answer the following questions:

Have you struggled with the desire to be accepted by others?

Has that struggle overshadowed your security in Christ?

What would be your number one piece of advice for women who crave mans’ acceptance?

Thank you, ladies, for your willingness to pour into the lives of others. Truly, we need God and we need each other.

Always an email away,

Jennifer