Is Agitation Hurting Your Relationships?

Hello, Sisters in Christ,

Lately, our washing machine has been hit-or-miss during the spin cycle. For weeks, it will do just fine, and then out of the blue, (usually when company is coming and I need lots of clean towels), it decides to stop spinning, leaving me with a sopping-wet mess.

If you think about it, our relationships go through similar spin cycles. Agitation starts to build, swishing around feelings of hurt, anger, or resentment. And when those feelings cannot drain properly, we are left with a mess of unwanted emotions and actions.

Can anyone relate?

Fortunately for us, we have a Washer Repairman who knows exactly how to fix our agitation problems. Jesus is the Mender of relationships. We just need to stop spinning our emotions for a minute and listen to what His Word is telling us.

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

Romans 12:9-18

When we read the first line of that Scripture passage, we may think, my love is genuine, but so is my agitation!

But here’s the deal: We can feel agitated with our spouses, our kids, our friends, and even our fellow church members, and not necessarily be doing something wrong. It’s what we do with the agitation that gets us into trouble!

~Our feelings get hurt so we offer the silent treatment.

~We feel slighted by someone so we “slight” them back.

~We know we should say something, but we hold it in and let resentment build.

~We keep a running list of offenses against others.

Sisters, I don’t know about you, but even as I type those agitated ways of handling emotion, I am convicted to the core!

~We’ve got to stop the endless spinning of dirty laundry.

~We’ve got to rinse away the hurt and resentment.

~We’ve got to fix the way we process things so we can enjoy our relationships and let God breathe a newfound freshness into them.

If you’ve been letting agitation get the best of you, and you really want to rein your emotions in, consider implementing a few of these spin-cycle fixes:

A Prayer for When Irritability Strikes

Listen to peaceful worship music. (playlist)

Read through these Scriptures for more encouragement to lay aside agitation.

If you think you are the only one dealing with agitation, please know that I have to work continuously to prevent irritation from taking over. I’m the queen of whispering under my breath, slamming a cabinet door, or giving the silent treatment!

However…I will say that God has done a remarkable work on my spirit over the years and I’ve learned to stop the spinning emotions of anger and irritation sooner rather than later.

I share more about my out-of-control anger issue in my book, Scarves of White: Replacing Our Issues with The Covering of Christ. I openly discuss the stronghold anger had on my life and how I overcame it.

I pray this post has helped you put agitation in perspective–God’s perspective.

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

Romans 12:18