My Personal Struggle with Anger

For a long time, even after I became a Christian, I had a personal struggle with anger.

If I felt unheard, unseen, or unappreciated, my instant reaction was anger. It wasn’t an outward display, except for slammed cabinet doors on a regular basis, but it was an inner anger that always seemed to be lurking beneath the surface.

Can you relate?

Honestly, I’m not proud of this and often cringe as I recall the worst moments of mumbling under my breath, giving my family the silent treatment, and letting anger get the best of me, but I know that by sharing my story, some of you will be able to relate AND make changes as God leads.

The best news…

God convicted me of my sinful anger one morning when I was getting ready to leave my apartment and my two little boys were playing on the porch just outside the door. I heard my three-year-old saying, “She’s mean. She’s mad. My mom is mean and mad.”

Peeking around the corner, I saw him repeating those phrases with his action figures in hand, having them say to each other, “My mom is mean and mad.”

Basically, Superman was telling Batman what a bad mom I was.

My heart broke.

When I heard those truthful words, spoken by a little boy who was perceptive enough to know his mama was chronically angry, I dropped my purse and cried.

Immediately, I called the boys back inside, hugged them tightly, and wept. I repented of my sinful anger and asked God to deliver me. And you know what? He did.

The road wasn’t easy, as my human nature still tried to get the best of me, but I can honestly say my anger has been diffused again and again by the mercy and grace of God. He’s given me the wisdom to handle things MUCH differently, and the outcomes have been nothing short of amazing.

My kids are now grown and we have the best of relationships – calm, cool, and collected.

Do you struggle with anger?

If you struggle – inwardly, outwardly, or both – please know you aren’t alone! There are a few things that made ALL the difference for me, and I pray they make a difference for you.

I got to the root of my anger and it wasn’t what I thought.

Sometimes, getting to the root of your anger takes work. I recommend talking to a trusted friend, pastor, or Christian counselor to help you week out the surface stuff and get to the bottom of things. Here are some considerations for deep-rooted anger:

It could be unforgiveness
It could be a lack of communication with your spouse, kids, or others
It could be resentment that’s built up over time
It could be a learned behavior from a parent or major influence in your life

Whatever the root of your anger is, you MUST get to the root of it to change it. For me, it was something I learned as a child combined with a severe lack of communication with my husband. Once I DECIDED to do things differently and asked God to help me, things REALLY began to change.

I Practiced Anger-Diffusing Exercises That Made All the Difference

After I admitted my sinful anger to God and began reading every Scripture I could find about the topic, I practiced a few anger-diffusing exercises that made all the difference.

I wrote down every frustration, from not having enough help around the house, to feeling unheard and unappreciated. Once I had a list of anger-inducing things, I ripped it up and threw it away. I asked God to take those frustrations and cast them into the sea. I repented when needed and received His help and forgiveness.
I kept index cards of a few key anger verses and read them often. I memorized them, prayed them, and changed my behavior according to what the Bible said.
I let my loved ones know it wasn’t them. I think this was one of the most important things I did to overcome sinful anger. By letting my close family and friends know I wasn’t angry at them, but simply dealing with some personal issues, I found that it diffused the anger more often than not.

I Wrote My Journey to Help Others

In my book, Scarves of White: Replacing Our Issues With the Covering of Christ I address sinful anger, along with other issues such as discontentment, insecurity, and oppression. Through real-life examples, Scriptural encouragement, and even bits of humor, my book and Bible study tackles our issues head-on and offers hope for change.

Although my personal struggle with anger hasn’t been pretty, it’s been transformed by a loving God who fills me with joy and peace. I am now able to deal with anger gently and rationally. My prayer is that you, too, will receive deliverance from unhealthy anger and begin to view life from a different perspective.

Grateful to be on this journey with you,

Jennifer

P.S. You can grab a copy of the book and prayer journal here and here. Thank you in advance!

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